I kinda felt bad about this. But eh..

A long time ago, I posted some stuff about the game show I was on, and also talked about how I lost a ton of weight since then.

I sorta twisted the truth a bit...

Not about the game show. I definitely took home that dough.

I thanked Shake Weight and NutriSystem for helping me with my weight loss. But I've never touched a Shake Weight (Even though I really, really want one) and never tried NutriSystem.

Well, I dont know how, but somebody from NutriSystem read that post and they sent me this email:

"We are happy to hear of the tremendous success you experienced while on Nutrisystem! We always stress the importance of ones’ weight loss journey being about a lifestyle change, not just a diet, and it seems that you really embrace those concepts! Please consider sharing your success story with our followers and members in our online community at Nutrisystem.com, Facebook and/or Twitter! Best wishes for continued success!"



Oops. :)

Confessions of a Serial Tree Killer, Pt.1

1-25-2011



Tuesdays are my favorite.

Why?

Because the weekend is over, people have their duties for the week, and that means I get back to doing what I'm best at. 

Killing.

I practically run off of the elevator, down the hall, and into the copy center, basking in the smell of paper.

• 20lb. White.
• 24lb. White 3 Hole Punched
• 80lb. Cardstock
• Pink
• Green
• Yellow
• Blue

All casualties of these merciless hands.

Every day, I sit patiently at my desk waiting for an email that says "Ricky, I need 1000 copies of this, and 4000 copies of this".

When it comes...

Pure Bliss.

Somebody needs to hire this man already. He belongs in Hollywood!

I had this song stuck in my head today.

Floaters

Priceless

We're only missin JERRY DON PECK!

Shout out to my boy Edwin up there in Canadia.

Who just tagged me in this old, old photo from UNT.

Edwin looks just like comedian Sherrod Small from "Best Week Ever".

New Drinking Game Alert!

Instructions.

1. Record an episode of Jersey Shore.
2. Grab a large amount of alcohol.
3. Start the show, and take a drink everytime somebody says the word "Like".





You will be drunk by the first commercial. Enjoy.

People keep telling me I look like this fool... I DONT SEE IT!

Happy Birthday

I've been tryin a new thing these days... Making Birthday poems. So in honor of my dear brother, Mr. Tanner Blaine Bird Gumby Bentley, I have written a new one.

Birdman, Birdman,

Today is the day,

You're a quarter Century,

The youngness is gone away.

I've known you forever,

Since Guadalupe Drive,

now we are men,

Im 23, you're 25.

You still look like gumby,

6'2 and skinny,

But instead of being green,

You're hairy as hell.

Ive been there for the good,

and for the bad as well,

But the one thing that wont change,

is your hairyness.

You're probably at dinner,

enjoying the rest of your day,

So I guess I can say tons of bad stuff about you since you probably wont even read this for a long time unless somebody tells you,

Sike.

Happy Birthday to you Brotha.

Speaking of horror movies...

I was watching Tyra the other day when I was sick...

I dont watch this show on a regular basis, but I was surfin channels, saw Mike Epps, and wanted to see what he was talking about. I promise.

Tyra's subject for the day was "Race in your Face" and it had people of all races, asking questions on why certain races do things.

For example:

Why are Asians bad drivers?
Why do white people put their kids on leashes?
Why do little mexican girls always have on big poofy dresses if they're at the landromat or something?
Why do black people always talk to the movies?

Watching "The Last Exorcism" this weekend made me think of a very plausible answer to the previous question.


White people do the darndest things in horror movies.

You trip and fall; You run UPSTAIRS instead of going out a back or a side door; You dont take your cell phone with you everywhere; You want to find out what that strange noise was.

This is why black people talk at the movie screen. We want to express our frustration with your stupidity. We DONT want to see you die, but in the end, our screaming and yelling never helps.



Take notes from us... Run first, and find out what happened later on.

The Last Exorcism

I had heard a little bit about this movie, and from what people say on the internets, it could go both ways. Some people say it was good, and scary, and some people say "that movie sucked bad". But a good horror flick is what you make it, so I had to see for myself.

I enjoyed it.

The premise was, there was a southern born preacher who had somewhat lost his faith, and wanted to do a documentary on exorcisms to prove that it's just people's minds going crazy and no actual demons. I dont wanna say too much without giving some key parts away.

Well... stuff starts happening. And its AWESOME!!!! Ha! Lin was crying and didnt wanna watch anymore. Everybody was jumping in their seats, people screamed, and I died laughing the whole time.

This guy says "check it out".

I guess I'll start with what is fresh on my mind.

If I was 10 years old, I would be happy about the Steelers making it to the Super Bowl, again.

Even though I act like it, I am not 10.

I have liked many teams in the NFL: The Steelers, The Titans, but I finally grew up and I realized that the Cowboys are my team.

I've been rooting for the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS all season as well, because LT is my favorite player.

Now that neither of these teams are in the Super Bowl, who am I supposed to root for??

Answer: NEITHER ONE. I have a ginormous hatred for the Packers, and I have Ricky L. Wright Sr. to thank for that. And the Steelers... ugh... Big Ben is a doo-shay.

I will say, both games were really good this weekend and all of the Playoffs have been exciting this year. I am hugely disappointed that the greatest sport on Earth will be officially over in about 2 weeks, but the Super Bowl chaos that will unfold in the next week should be pretty awesome.

My pick for the Super Bowl: Probably the stinkin cheese heads. :(



Now, in the offseason, Garrett Top needs to regroup, use our draft picks wisely, and come back next season and DO WORK. Cowboys to the Super Bowl 2012!

Oh my goodness...

I just checked, and it has been 17 days since I last visited my blog.

I can't believe I have neglected it for that long.

But I am back, and in black... Permanently.

Now I must go inside of my brain, to retrace the last 17 days and figure out what I have to tell all of you people...

THAT JUST HAPPENED!

A miracle has happened.

I heard on the televsion this morning, that everybody's dream girlfriend, Snooki, has written a book.

Yes, I said it.

A real book. With words.

It's a novel about the Jersey Shore, with characters that go by the names of Gia, Franky, Tony, blah blah blah who cares. Why read a book, when we can watch the tv show you bozo.

HALLELUJAH!!!!!

She's single. Time to go in for the kill.

This is how people get food poisoning.