Convos with Father

My parents came over just a while ago, and Mr. Ricky L. Wright Sr. had a lot of things to say...

Tiger Woods 

Me: Tiger Woods was at Del Frisco's last week.

Pop: He had a reservation for 5. It was Tiger and Fo Hoes.

Kids

Pop: Imma confuse all the teachers when yalls kids are in school. Imma go to the office and say "I need to pick up my grandson" and tell them that he's black. Then they will be lookin for a black boy but he will be white.

Tanning

Pop: Where's Lindsay at?

Me: Tanning.

Pop: Tanning? What she wanna be black? Why dont she fold her lil ass up and get in the oven. 200 should do it.

Ruth's Chris

Pop: We can go to Ruth's Chris next week. We gonna get one steak and cut it four ways.

Cruises

Me: This cruise ship has 4 pools and 10 whirlpools.

Pop: You dont wanna get in the water on a cruise ship.

Me: Why?

Pop: (Looks at Lindsay) Cuz of yo people. They put the sunscreen on then get in the water. You supposed to put it on after you get out. When they get out the pool the water looks like vomick. (Vomick = Vomit)


Me: Didnt you bring a jacket with you?
Pop: Awww shucky ducky I left it.