Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Any Bad Girls Club Fans??

Anybody ever notice that Brandi from Bad Girls Club looks like Antoine Dodson????

You can run and tel dat, HOMEBOY!!!!

This is for you Jenny!

Shout Outs!

It's about that time...

I wanna shout out to...

Maaaaaauuuucccuuus (New inductee to the FTB Mafia)
Jody, Bird, JD, Queeevis and Garcia
Ben "The Big Show" Chapman
Dog the Bounty Hunter
Justin Bieber should never ever try to make a song with Kanye
Brian Bell and Miss Jennifer E. (Vikings SUCK)
Jenny "The Exorcist" Ramirez
All of The Nelson, Gibson, Solis, Wright, Outland Clans.



That mess of an acronym spells Real Housewives of New Jersey, and last night I lost 138 brain cells watching this monstrosity of a television program.

But dang was it juicy.

Why did I watch this, you may ask? The wife made me.

Well, I wanted to watch it too.

Reunion shows are always so good. Like the Bad Girls Club, or The Real World (Back in the day though, when The Real World was still good. Ex: Real World San Diego). Usually theres a lot of profanity, and sometimes an actual fight.

Dont believe me??

As the French would say... Follow ze link

Teresa Attacks

One Week

There hasnt been too many things i've been this excited about... (That's a lie, but I just needed a good opening line for dramatic effect)

I mean, Im excited for the NFL Football season. And I guess getting married was pretty neat, but neither of those compare to what will happen in 7 days. (Im lying about that too, I love you Lin).

One of the greatest shows in television history will be coming back and all of my Tuesday nights will be completely occupied. Every Tuesday at 9pm I will be in front of my tv, gun in hand, cut on my back, black bandana and a halfway empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the floor because it will be time for Sons of Anarchy. (Insert loud awesome music now)

If you havent ever opened your eyes to the greatness of this show, I'll give you the 10 second rundown NOW:

Sons of Anarchy is a show about a motorcycle club in California. They dabble in gun running and primarily sell to Mexicans and Blacks because in all honesty, Mexicans and Blacks love guns. They also have a porn studio but a lot of stuff happened with that that you just have to watch to understand. It's loosely based on an actual motorcycle club called the Sons of Silence; If you ever watch Gangland on history channel you will know that these people are no joke.

So back to the important stuff. SOA starts back next week and I have a pretty good feeling this season is gonna get crazy. With everything that happened in season finale last season, I know that things will get wild. And I for one cannot wait!

Follow the link below to see a preview of Season 3.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Oh these Negus

I'd never do this to my mother... :)

Kid Pranks Mom With Saran Wrap - Watch more Funny Videos

Are you one of these? Click the link at the bottom of the picture.

Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing

Oh Snap!

It has come to my attention that I have not posted anything in a few days. So here I go!


 Friday night I went to Northwest High Schools first football game of the season. And THEY WON! So shout out to all of the team and they're ACE quarterback Alec Laffoon for a very very good game.

If I was a boxer named James Toney, who decided I wanted to have a career in MMA, and as a boxer I weighed between 160-175, but now I weighed 237lbs and wanted to fight Randy Coture, I would rethink my decision.

Oh yeah... Champs.

Im so exhausted today though, so im gonna head out like a fetus. Ill have a Superstar and some more shout-outs here soon. HOLLA!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Now it's time for a new segment I like to call: Racist Stories with Brian!! Yay!!!!!

By the way, Brian is black.
Brian: So I get in the elevator this morning with a C********* girl (It's not a bad word, I just dont know if I should put the company name on here) and as we're going up, she turns to me and says "I like your shade of brown". I thought to myself, did I wear anything brown to work today (He is wearing a white shirt and black pants) I turned to her, and stared. Then the doors opened, and I walked off...

And that was Racist Stories with Brian!!! Yay!!!!!


Text from Jenny

Jenny: You watchin Housewives?

Me: Not now, but Lin is recording it.

Jenny: Danielle looks like Jafar.


Haven't done this in a while, but it's time for my SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK!!!

It's taken me a while to figure out who my next SuperStar of the Week was going to be. I had so many ideas going through my head but nobody really stuck out to me. The Situation was a top choice because seriously, have you seen those abs? Ronny Collarpop came up too, but he was just a little too creepy. Lindsay suggested Rob Dyrdek, but that guy has a factory. A factory.

Yes, a factory. And it's full of fantasies.

But the person I chose this week, brought back one of my greatest childhood loves, and I am so so so happy glad that he did.

This weeks SuperStar is

Mr. Clint Sykora

A few weeks ago, my seeesster Branny came up from Austin to visit, and she brought her boyfriend Clint. Never met him before but I wanted to murder him.

Im kidding. He is awesome and I cant wait to hang out with them again. While we were hangin around the apartment, He reminded me of something I was missing in my life. That thing was:

I used to love this cereal. Regular Cap'n Crunch was good. Cap'n Crunch Berries were great. But what happens whenever you take that other corn junk out, and just leave the berries???

A pure magical masterpiece.

This mornings breakfast was like a party in my mouth, only its not an ordinary party. At this party, there are unicorns and midgets and Eva Mendes and confetti eggs and super soakers filled with Crown.

Thank you Clint, for rekindling my love with an amazing breakfast cereal.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Friday, August 20, 2010

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away (Video)

TV Shows that make you dumber.

If you are ever at home, and say to yourself "Geez, I feel like being stupider (probably not a word) today", turn on one of these television shows and get to work.

The Hills:

Thank you Lord for ending this show. Why can't they put real people on tv, doing real things? For instance, have a show about a newly married interracial couple, who like to have a good time. They can show the wife going to the husbands flag football games, show them relaxing at home, show them going to work. You know, REAL, average people. Instead, they put a bunch of spoiled, wanna be fashion designers whose clothes only end up at Marshalls, a girl who looks like an inflatable doll, and her crazy husband who wears camo and carries crystals with him.

America's Got Talent. NOT!

Nick Cannon is horrible. 95% of the people on the show have no talent, and I would not pay $175 to go see them in Vegas. Do I really want to go to a CJ Dippa concert? Do I really wanna watch a guy toss pizza dough in the air? NO, NO, AND NOOOOO!

Put 7 bad attitude girls in a house. Throw in cameras, alcohol, periods, and what do you get? A recipe for a sharp drop in your IQ. This show is ridonculous. All they do is yell, fight, go to the club, yell at the club, drink at the club, fight at the club, fight in the limo on the way home from the club, fight at the house, fight in the pool. Then horrible Perez Hilton hosts a horrible reunion show to find out what these lowlifes have been doing since they left the house. Usually, one is pregnant, one breaks up with their boyfriend, but has another boyfriend, 4 are groupies, and one gets beat up and yelled at by everybody else.

At least this show is awesome to watch. So i'll take my dumbness for this one. :)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

My favorite Ghetto videos.

This song is stuck in my head. Thanks a lot GT!

Bed Intruder Remix - Watch more Funny Videos

New Dre!

Click the link to listen

Mommy just broke my heart.

The tiny woman in the middle is my mother. (I dont know if you already knew that or not)

Right before my 16th birthday I had been telling my parents how much I wanted a blue truck as my first vehicle. They kept saying "Just be patient, blah blah blah" so I did. On the Sunday before my birthday, me and The Posse all went out to Cowboys to get our groove on. During the ride home, I had some weird feelings like something awesome was getting ready to happen. I walk in, go to my room, and on my bed was a birthday card. It read "Go to the garage and see your new surprise". I cant even begin to explain the excitement that ran through my body. I go to the garage door, turn on the light, and in the middle of the garage there was a little bity, shiny, blue toy truck. Roar.

Fast forward to August 18th, 2010. My mom texts me today and says "Can you call your friend at Ruth's Chris and make a reservation for 4 of us". I was like OOOHHHH SNAAAAPPPPPP! I could already taste the steak in my mouth. Just to be sure, and make it sound like I wasn't being greedy, I responded "Who's all going".

She said "Me, Your dad, and the Lee's."

Roar. Roar. Roar.

The moral of this story is: Assuming things is for the birds.

Somebody posted this comment under a music video I was watching....

"TRICK QUESTION? How come when it's a bunch of black guys that are singing together...it's a "cool r& b group"?....but when it's a bunch of white guys that are singing together...it's a "cheesy boy-band" NO FAIR!!!

ALL ETHNICITIES have their own brand of "soul" and ALL SINGING GROUPS, no matter how "cool" they may THINK they are...(and no matter what color or language) have the same "cheese factor" as a common denominator, therefore NOBODY IS really "cool" =D

This guy had to be white. He's probably the same person that asks why there is no "White Entertainment Television" or White History month.

The Hardest Part of Breaking Up (Is Getting Back You...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Thank you ABC Family

First, You give me Good Burger.

Now, Major Payne!

I'm in 1990's movie Heaven!

Is this really what telvision has come to?

It's just gotta be so addicting. Roar.

Happy Birthday Mila!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Highlight of my night.

Last night while walking down the street downtown, we ran into a very unique character. He was walking in the opposite direction of us, beer in hand, with money pinned on his shirt, and singing a song. The interaction went somethin like this...

Crackhead: Go shawty, its ya birfday!

Me: We gon party like its ya birfday!

Crackhead: Say man, its my birfday, pin a dolla on me.

Me: I dont have no money bills on me man.

Crackhead: See! Just like a N****

  Then he walked off.

What a night!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

If you do not watch this show, START. It is 100% LEGIT. Fooooo Shoooooooooooo

This guy was Bananas - B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Dedicated to my little cousins.

These are my little cousins Joseph, and Andre.

The flash was on super high for this picture. It did not help them out at all.

In a week, they will be embarking on a new journey in life, which I have named, "College". (Sound it out at home.. Caawwwwwwllllleeeeeeedddddgggggggeeeeee")

I felt that, since they are about to leave the world of rules, boundaries and curfews, I would give them a little advice.
First off, MAKE SURE YOU GO TO CLASS. Unless the teacher emails you and says "Class is cancelled today", GO TO CLASS. It doesnt matter how far your class is, what the weather is like, what's on tv, how tired you are, if you roommate wants to play madden, how crazy the night before was, GO TO STINKIN CLASS!!!!!
Next, make sure you keep up with your grades. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help on anything. Your teachers are there to help you, not baby you. Education costs money. Your parents dont want to pay for you to only pass Bowling, Weight Training, and English class.
B. Alcohol is bad. An occasional Smirnoff is ok, but stay away from Mickey's, Bud Ice (40oz), Keystone, Keystone, Keystone, Jack Daniels, Keystone, Tequila, and Keystone. 

3. There is nothing open after 2am but Waffle House's and legs.

4. Save your money. Being an adult is crazy expensive. Everybody can't be broke, then magically go on a game show and win a bunch of money. Be wise with your spending, work when you can, and build up that account. It will pay off in the long run.

And finally, if you do all of these things, and become mad rich, dont forget about your older cousin(s) that guided you on the right path for life. We went through the hard stuff so that you could have it easy. We love you, so dont forget it.
We are proud of you. DO WORK!


This is the new Fried Cheese samich (Samich - Ebonics for Sandwich) from Denny's.

It looks disgusting.

Fried mozerella sticks in a grilled cheese sandwich.

Instead of marinera sauce, i'll take a side of Ex-Lax.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

It's TRUE.

Last week, a gentleman at work informed me that all white people smelled like mayonaisse. I was like "NO WAY", and he was like "Yes Sir".

I did some investigating, and after 1 week of sniffing random white people, it is confirmed. They do, indeed, smell like mayo.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Psych is AWESOME. If you dont watch it, you should start. (Wednesday night)

10 Things you might not have known about me.

10.  I dont like to eat in front of people, unless I know you really well.

9. I am a big X-Games fan. Dont know what it is about extreme sports, but I dig it.

8. I hate pickles, and Mexican food. I mean, I REALLY hate them.

7. I really was on stage with David Copperfield. One of the highlights of my life.

6. I have really flat feet, which I have learned makes me a great swimmer.

5. I am a big Cameo fan, and I was conceived on Halloween of '86 because my dad was dressed like the lead singer of Cameo. (Picture to the right)

4. I was on a game show, which was on national television, and I won $25,000. It's true. The money is gone now, but I spent it wisely. (Lindsay's hand, Car, Crown Royal, Food)

3. I secretly have wanted to be a cop since forever. I dont know why, because I love N.W.A., but I always thought I could do it, and do it well.

2. Im not a big sweets eater. I love brownies, and caramel stuff. But thats as far as I go. Dont be offended if I dont want to eat your birthday cake. Im not a fan at all.

1. The Rock is my all time man crush. Im a heterosexual  man, but the Rock surpasses Charlie Sheen, and Charlie Sheen is the bomb. The Rock really is/was the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. And no matter what anybody says, The Game Plan was a very good movie.

Bad Idea.

So a friend at work bought me one of these can covers at a redneck gun show and apparently it does not work for tall boys. How else am i supposed to drink and drive????

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I like to play with fire.

Everybody is always hatin on Vanilla Ice... I dont know why? He is an AWESOME performer.

Thoughts in my head.

I love when people tell me I smell good, being that most of the time I dont take showers for 3 or four days at a time. So I must really take some amazingly good showers, when I do.

Black Magic is coming...

I really want to see "The Other Guys", not because it looks hilarious, but because my girl Eva Mendes is in it. I havent talked to her since she used to stalk me on Myspace, and Ive missed her.

Sons of Anarchy starts in exactly one month. Man I cant wait. Im sitting on the couch in my cut and my motorcycle helmet right now.

Speaking of SOA, the trailer for the 3rd season is on right now, and I literally am pooping on myself as we speak. Or type. ROOOOAAAAAAARRRR!

Super Star!

My SuperStar of the week and life is my FBM and wife Lin because she is now an employed teacher!
Thank you JESUS!!!! Congrats Freddy! I knew you could do it.

And now, the plan is for you to take me to see a good manly movie, driving range (or gun range), drink some manly beer and take some shots, because I WON THE BET! I WIN WIN I WIN!!!!!!!!!

Is Kick-Ass really Kick-Ass?

I remember seeing the preview for this movie when I was watching "Hot Tub Time Machine". First thought was "Man this movie is gonna suck".

Then the movie came out, and I remember reading about all the controversy with it: people saying that the little girls crude language was too offensive and the violence was out of control. It was then that I knew I had to see it. The question was, how was I gonna get Lindsay to go see it with me.

I wasnt.

Fast forward to August 6th. We're at home, enjoying pizza and wine, and Lin tells me to pick between 3 movies.
1. Kick Ass
2. Something else.
3. Something else.

The moral of this story is: Kick-Ass was awesome. The story was good, and Hit Girl was the shizzle. Definitely a must see movie!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

B.O.B. Killed it!!!

Shout out to all the flat booty girls in the world!

Best thing about this commercial, is that they put a white guy sitting a table, then they have a girl walk by, and he gives her the double take. Pshhhhhhhhhh.
Definitely should have had a whole gang of black dudes yellin and whistlin at the girl as she walked by. Sales for these would be through the roof.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Super Man Rant!

I think men should stop being chastised for leaving the toilet seat up. Or maybe I should just yell at YOU every time YOU leave it down.

I mean seriously, for years and years WE (men) have been having to lift the seat up whenever we go pee. We dont complain about that. It's kind of like a mini work out to us. Why cant you let it down without making the "UGGGGGHHHHHH" noise, or yelling "RICKY!!!!" followed by the loud dropping of the toilet seat. Im sorry I went to the restroom in the middle of the night and didnt let it back down. But it wasnt a top priority at that moment. I was trying to aim and focus with my eyes half open. Thats a very tough thing to do.

Also, I apologize if you ever go in the bathroom and dont check to see if the seat is down for you. But it is NOT our fault if your booty gets dipped and purified in the waters of Lake Toilettonka. I dont EVER rob a store without observing my surroundings. Thats just common sense. Think about that!

So ladies, lets come to an agreement. The toilet is a mutually used household appliance, and it should be shared and used with no complaints whatsoever. If the seat is up, or down whenever we use it, we will look at it, smile, and be happy that we have a nice comfy, porcelein throne to use, since some people dont have one at all.

*The views of Ricky Wright and this blog are only silly rambling, and should never, under any circumstances, be taken seriously by anyone.*

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Trick Daddy - I'm A Thug (Video Version)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Im surprised this has never happened to me.

Dancing Man Gets Hit By Ice Cream Truck - Watch more Funny Videos

Sterotypes are bad.

White people cant dance

They cant jump either.

Black people love chicken and watermelon.

Black men love fat white girls.

The list can seriously go on, and on, and on.

But these are just stereotypes that need to stop being used.

For instance, Laurence Fishbournes daughter, Montana, is starting her new pornography career. There has been lots of chitter chatter on the internets about it lately, especially with her talking about how it really boosted Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton's careers when sex tapes "leaked" starring them.

The moral of the story is: Not all porn stars and strippers and prostitutes grow up without fathers in their life.

This myth has been, BUSTED.

I love you Eva!!!!!!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Halloween isnt that far away...

Garbage Man Scare Prank Backfires - Watch more Funny Videos

Isn't she dreamy???

Guess who's back?

Yes, It's me, it's me, The D OOOOOOOOO double G.

Wait a second, thats not my line. But I wish I came up with it (Suck it Road Rogg)

Hello people of the internets. My name is Rick. Ricky. It's Ricky ROOOOOOAAAAARRR! I feel like I havent had contact with you in a while. We defiitely need to stop going on these breaks. Im not diggin it at all.

What's been going on in my life you ask? Let's see...

1. Hung out with my nephew Friday. He's the bomb.
2. Kicked it with the Garcia's during the day. I got my tan on, and now I look like...

3. Went out to Baker St. Saturday night and kicked it with the Garcia's, The Napiers and Bird.

Having a job as a bathroom attendent must not be very fun. I know, every time I'm somewhere and there is a bathroom attendant, I walk in, I pee, and I run out. Maybe if they had a credit card machine, I would tip them.

Ok maybe not.

4. Free shots are awesome.
5. Laura Craig is one of the coolest people in the world. I cant wait for Halloween and 85% of the reason is because of her. 10% is because I love going to haunted houses. And the other 5% is because you can pull awesome pranks on people even though its not April Fool's day.


This week in North Texas, temeperatures = HELL

Happy Birthday

Thank you for your awesome job in Purple Rain Apollonia.
(When I say awesome job, I mean, for purifying yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka)