Where are you Yeezy??

Rocky?

I walk off of the elevator today, to see signs that tell me Happy Birthday. When I look at them, I think to myself, "Either Jana McCoy put these up, or somebody is really racist with these signs (Notice the rapper and the Old English font).

Also, people think my name is Rocky Wrought. AWESOME!

Today is a great day.
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Luke "It's Your Birthday"

10 Things I've Learned during my 23 years of life.

10. Playing Slide, and jumping rope is the key to a girls heart.

9. Being the only black kid in your grade, guarantees you'll get picked in the Top 3 at recess.

8. Highland is, and will always be better than Wayside.

7. You might think you're cool, but you are really not.

6. High school sweethearts never really work out.

5. Skipping class is not only an action.. It's a lifestyle.

4. Hot teachers make learning fun.

3. Jack Daniels is not a professor in college.

2. The freshman 15 can easily turn into the Freshman 50 if you're not careful.

1. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

At the Rooooooomstore.

At 6:39 this morning, I get a phone call from a man who says he is going to deliver our couches today.

The plan was for me to be at work all day, come home, and magically have couches, then eat my birthday dinner on my new couch.

Roomstore delivery guy tells me that we are the last delivery for the day and they will be here between 5pm and 9pm. I swear its because of my stinkin last name.

I think I should change my name to Ricky Applebee, so then I could be first in line for everything.

Thanks a lot, Roomstore, for ruining my awesomely planned night. I know these busters are gonna show up at 8:59.

Elevator Etiquette

Here are a few rules you should think about when in the elevator.

1. If you're in a rush, don't make eye contact with anybody walking towards the elevator. Jump in, hit your floor, and then hit the "Close door" button repeatedly.

2. Crop dusting is highly frowned upon.

3. If elevator is packed, do not talk on your cell phone (especially about personal stuff. Ex: pap smears, bachelor party results, rashes)

4. Make sure you pay attention to what floor the elevator stops on. You can end up looking pretty stupid trying to get off on the 7th floor, when you're on your way to the 5th.

5. Make sure you press your button when you get on to the elevator.

I guess i'm in a OutKast/Big Boi mood today.

One of the greatest music videos of life!

Yo Roy!

I think your shoulder pads look pretty comfy in your own hands.

Im so ready for football to start!

T.O. to the Bengals??

I Love Mondays!

Me and the Internet = Big Fight

Dear Followers (All 3 of you),

I want to apologize for my latest absence. Me and the internet (Shelly) actually got into a huge arguement. I told her she was focusing too much on other stuff (Lindsay Lohan, The President, etc.) and not me. I felt like I wasnt wanted.

We're working on our problems.

Yesterday, my folks took us out to eat at Logan's for my Birthday dinner (Yes my birthday is Wednesday. Please make checks available to Ricky Wright Jr. My address is 2_ _ _ C______ St. # _ _ _ Fort Worth, TX, 761017). Anywho, before we left, my dad wanted me to show him how to use his new cell phone.

He told me that he didnt have all of his contacts, so I proceeded to go through them to see which ones he needed. What I found was shocking. If you know Ricky L. Wright Sr, you know that he is not normal (Thats where I get it from). I just had no idea.

Some of his contacts were:

Anothy Figging (Anthony Figgins - Friend from Seattle, Washington)

Adrain (Adrian - Lawn Customer)

Brain Rawston (Brian Rawlston - Friend at church)

Pastor Free Da (Pastor Freita - Bishops Wife from church)

Im so glad I did not go to Northside high school.

WHAT UP T-BIRD!!!!! Shane aint got nothin on this!!!

The Love Shack is a little ol place where.... you can eat a burgerrrrrrrrrrrr!

Usually, if anybody would ask me what my favorite food was, I'd tell them pizza with no hesitation. But here lately, I've been all about a great burger.

Now Jake's is still my #1. I havent had anything that would beat that yet.

My number #2 has definitely gotta be Love Shack.

6 Words: A burger with a Quail Egg. Quail egg you might say? Well, for all of the quails that have ever pooped on my car, my revenge is eating your brothers and sisters. Take that SUCKAS!!! (Dirty Love Burger, with Love Sauce on the side is OUTSTANDING)

The moral of the story is, if you havent, go check out Love Shack. There are two awesome locations to serve you {Stockyards, and West 7th}.

If you go to the one on West 7th, Tell them Rick sent ya.

They will most likely stare at you and ask "Who the hell is Rick".

I should get paid for this.

Yeah Buddy!!!! :)

Shout out to my big cousins Reggie and Liz for this super dope gift!

Shot glasses that you can make out of Ice. Ice, baby.

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I REMEMBERED!

Yesterday, I was rambling about somebody who I couldnt remember, but I really wanted to punch them in the face.

I found him.

I dont know what it is, but I am just not a fan of this guy. Superbad was funny, but because of the cops, Jonah Hill, and at times, McLovin.

Maybe it's his face. I cant quite put my finger on it, but I could definitely put my fist on his face.

(Also not pictured: Eminem, AC Slater, Wink Martendale)

Extra side note - This guy on ABC's Downfall, couldnt figure out which sitcom Ward and June were from. Seriously?? LEAVE IT TO BEAVER! He's like 50 somethin and he didnt know that. I knew that. Stoopid.

A shot a day, will keep the dentist away...

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Today was a good day.

I hate when I forget something that I feel was super (uber) important, which I needed to share with the world (the 6 people that actually read my blog).  I know it was about somebody that I felt like punching in the face, but I CANT REMEMBER WHO IT IS.

In other news, id like to punch:

Dane Cook

Khia

Skip Cheatham
Waldo (If I could find him)
And Shaun Raab from Fox 4......................................
.............................................
........................
 ...
News.

I think I have a SuperStar of the week!!!! {Insert Triumphant Music}

It is..

My cousin Cookie!

(Insert echo from man with deep voice)

Cookie (Government name: La'Trishia Outland) is my older cuz, who currently resides in Atlanta, GA. Cookie rode her brand new 14 speed Schwinn bicycle 816 miles to attend my wedding. If that's not effort, I dont know what is. She makes her living as a double agent, for some top secret agency that I'm pretty positive Chuck Norris used to work for. Dont let her height (4'11) fool you. Cook has multiple guns, and knows how to use them better than Doc Holliday.

This Bud is for you Cookie. Congrats!!!

Mullets are back!

Seen these guys a couple times. Very, very entertaining.

You can find their calendar or Facebook and Myspace.

Seriously, these guys are hysterical.

For real.

When I listen to this song, I feel like I should be in ridin around in a pink limo, with a jheri curl and a pink suit to match.

Today = Scorcher

Note to self. Do not play football in 105 degree weather.

Unless your name is Ricky, or Shane, or Bird. (Group of idiots)
I did get a great tan though, and I lost about 46lbs.

BTW, Shout out to Shane and his group (boy band) N2Men for going triple aluminum on their first 16 records. Too legit.

Too legit to quit.

This weekend was pretty good. Kicked it on friday at the Love Shack, and Baker Street. I wanted to get a tattoo but I didnt. I was craving it worse than Mel Gibson craves calling white women N words.

Now, as I sit in my lawn chair, sipping a glass of Moscato, watching RuPaul's drag race, and debating whether or not to jump out of my window, I wonder: Am I a real man or what?

That's all for now. Let me get back to my show.

If you play with fire...

I was having a discussion last night with some colleagues of mine (Chris, Lacey and Brandi) and I was asking them about this certain dream that I have had in the past.

It's the dream where you're dreaming about peeing and it feels great, but then youre like "AHHHHH, IM ABOUT TO PEE IN THE BED!!!".

Then when you make it to the bathroom and pee you're hesitant, because you cant remember if you are dreaming or it's real life.



In other random Ricky news, my birthday is in 11 days. Im so excited to be 23. There are so many more opportunities in life that I can finally do now that im 23. I can buy lotto tickets, cigarettes, get a hotel room, pay bills, buy alcohol at restaurants, and a large array of other things.

Oh wait... Ive done that before. Oh well, I'm just happy to be alive another year.


Shout out to my wife who is killin the waffle game right now. Buttons better watch out!

I'm almost POSITIVE she is from Narnia

Where have I been all my life??

Not having my computer at home sucks. I have Lin's but its just different and I cant focus while I'm on it.

I guess I better get used to it though: Apparently, marriage is about sharing and stuff.


I had another weird dream last night. We were in my apartment and the girls were in the other room talking about girl stuff (Guns, drugs, hookers - The usual). Me and Bayne were in the living room and he could talk really good. I was showing him how to flex his muscles and ask the girls "Do you want tickets to the gun show".

That kid is gonna be a pimp one day. CERTIFIED PIMP!

It feels like I havent been on here in forever and I have so much stuff to say but now I cant remember it.

I love when im bein a goofball and I randomly wave at somebody and they wave back, but then I happen to actually know the person.

Oh yeah, U-Verse is awesome. Except for when it screws up. I totally wanted to go all Mel Gibson on the phone last night. But then I didnt. Because im not crazy and I dont punch womens teeth out of their mouth.


I will be back soon, I PROMISE. The internet world and I have MANY things to talk about.

Yes!

Shout Outs Suckaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What uppppppppp:

T-Bird

Jody

Jd

Garcia

Q

Reggie

Brittany

Brandi Coppedge

Amanda

Jenny

C-Jai

Shake N Bake

Megan Lovelace almost Denman

Stacy, Macey, Lacey, Tracy

Moe Moe

J-Si

Rude Jude - Thanks for the Splash

Cherelle
Korie the BigHorse

Shane - Let's do work Sunday!!!!

Andre

JoeBob

Maaaaacccusss

Taylor Wayne

Cookie - So glad to see you

LeeCee - Not so glad to see you

Tasha - Wish you couldve been there

I think thats it, but before I go, I know I shouldnt be advertising other blogs because let's face it, why would you look at anything else on the net. But my pals Johnny B and Matt have their own page and it is quite entertaining. Check it out at http://nahying.blogspot.com

Oh Hello There....

Well it's day number 3 at the apartment and I haven't tried to run home yet. I guess that is a good thing.

Right now, I'm on the phone with Patrizio's trying to order us some dinner. I am starvin like... you guessed it. Marvin.

Side note - HP Tech Support is stupid. Your name is not Brent. And you were no help.

So I have decided, Daniel Tosh is my white Chappelle for right now. When I watch this guys show, I laugh harder than I laugh at myself when I was on that silly game show. If you dont watch it, please, START NOW OR LOSE YOUR PINKY TOE! (ON YOUR LEFT FOOT).





Had a convo with the big cousin yesterday. It cracked me up.

Regg - Thanks for the dinner cuz, it was off the chain.
Me - No prob playa. How was the cake??
Regg - N****, that cake was crack.

They dont pay me but...

Crown Royal,

The Drink of a true gentleman.

And me.

Im slackin on the posts.

So last night, I had a crazzzzyyyyy dream. I was in my old house, having a party. Then, out of nowhere, Matt Czizek and his gang of scoundrels came in with guns to rob us (Just like on Dark Knight). Matt was dressed very nice by the way. And I remember, Chris Garcia took off running, Q was a bad guy (as well as Johnny Bernal), and Q yelled at Chris "Where you goin Pancho?!?!?!?". Then he shot Chris. And after that we ended up at Disney World.

I dont know whats wrong with me. Must be this married life.

I know I dont have a SuperStar this week and I apologize. My computer isnt working at the apartment and were sharing for now. Next week, once we are more settled, I will double up.

Wedding pics are coming soon!!!!!!

Just a few!

First Dance

This is post number 101. Eat that silly dalmations!

Well well well... I am officially married as of right now. Well, as of last night. It feels great. Im sitting in our new apartment in a lawn chair because we dont have a couch yet. But I still love it.

Last night was exhausting.

But it was the best day of my life. I was so glad to see everybody in one big room, havin fun.

And I didnt lock my knees, AND I didnt cry. Who's the man? IM THE MAN.

I was about as nervous as R. Kelly before they read his verdict though. I just didnt wanna show it.



Ill be posting random stuff throughout the day. Thanks again to everybody for making our day PERFECT.

Hahahaha

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From Monica

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Omni

I sure was planning on sleeping pretty late. But it just so happens that the Omni doesn't like to put dark curtains to keep the sun out. So I am awake. Watching food network. Awesome
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Well...

"Ummmm Lindsay... This is Jody... We lost Ricky."

Wouldn't that suck??

Last night I slept AWESOME. And by AWESOME I mean not good at all. My nerves woke me up at 7 today.

I clipped the nails on my left hand only, because I know that people will be wanting to look at the ring and take pictures and stuff.

I really wanna go bungee jumping.

I have a feeling, this day is gonna go by soooooo slow because Im so anxious. And then once 5 hits, I wont remember a thing. Thank the Lord for video cameras.

Out.

This is all we have in the fridge/freezer

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Oh Jerry.

Im almost positive Jd doesn't check the blog. So I have to post this...

Wednesday night, I was talking to Chris and he was asking me what he should wear to the Rehearsal.

I then decided to text all of the groomsmen and tell them "Wear something casual but nice, just in case we take some pictures".

Jd then texts me right back and says "Thank God you said something. I was gonna wear my suit."

My jaw dropped.

I was like "Jd are you serious??" and he said "Yeah, I've never been in a wedding before".

Dress rehearsals are for musicals.

Im still laughing about it right now.

(Guy in the background rules.)

How have you never seen this video. Put all the Guido's on the MAP!

One more day until my last name is the same!

So... Our week of sleepness nights is almost over finally.


I took today off (for relaxation) and I woke up at 6am. Yay for me.


*Random Side Note* - I was watching Boy Meets World, and there is absolutely NO WAY that Eric Matthews was that dumb. I mean, he was dumber than dumb.

Anywho, I cant believe this thing is almost here. Its like the first time I went to Disney World.

Bad example. I liked Universal Studios WAY better.

Its like the first time I went to Universal Studios. I was so excited and the thoughts in my head were running wild like monkeys in the jungle, or gazelles wherever they do their thing at. Im ready for it though. I think. Im pretty sure. Really. I think I know Im ready. Seriously. I can do this. Yep, I can do it.

SO, plans for the day:
1. Move clothes and other stuff into the apartment.
2. Get clothes for today, tonight, and stuff to relax in tomorrow.
3. Figure out what Im wearing in the wedding tomorrow.
4. Pray that this weather doesnt get bad so I can hit some golf balls (Thats what she said)
5. Maybe Yucatan.


I believe thats it for now. Before I go, I have been trying to figure out why people keep saying "Dont lock your knees HaHa LOL OMG LMFAO ROFL SI EMB."

I figured it out. And this is why...

Picture Message from Bird

Whatcha know bout that guuuuh?
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Im feelin very Old Skoolish right now.

Never Lose A Remote Again!

Never Lose A Remote Again!

Today.

I mowed the lawn today, for the last time.

I bumped NWA for that whole two hours.

Somebody once told me that listening to this gangsta rap music makes me really mean and makes me have an attitude.

As I finished mowing over the people I robbed, then chopped up and spread the body all over my parents grass, I thought to myself "This music makes me feel great".



I told the lady at the donut shop this morning that I was getting married and moving and that I probably wouldnt see them for a long time unless im in town. She cried and cried. Then she showered me with donut holes and piggies. Then, we embraced.
Sad, sad morning.


Extra shout-outs!

My almost cousin Matthew - Glad your back home safe!
Shane Dunavin - You're just like Kordell Stewart but better.
Angie - Sorry about the scare. Never trust a Ricky.

Tomorrow is the Rehearsal Dinner which means...

The wedding is almost here.

It's been a long time coming but it's finally here.

I never thought it would come. I mean, working as an undercover agent all these years, I never really had time for any kind of friendships or relationships. And then, on a dangerous mission to a country called Ona back in '01, I ran into this pretty little girl sitting in chair on a corner eating an orange Flinstone Push-Up pop.

I hollered.

She denied.

Now she's stuck with me forever. So I win.


Cant wait for Saturday. I love you Lin!

Why is this guy dressed like this???

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Can you spot my dad???

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One more BIG Shout Out!

To my wife in 4 days and my future baby mama. I love you and I'm sorry I'm no good at surprises...
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Hmmm....

Thanks Brandi and Amanda for sending me to this site.

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

SHOUT OUT!!!!!

This kid and I want to shout out to...

Stinky Butt Jenny, who's only worth 3 pennies. And your unborn child.

Nita and Rolo - Congrats on the Engagement

Johnny B

Ron Anthony

Amanda Teague (It really does love you)

Bayne - Im glad your mommy bought you "Your Baby Can Read" so now you can check my site daily

Yana Gonzales Fernandez Consuela McCoy

I believe that is all. If you are reading this and you dont see your name but you want to see your name, let me know. Gracias.

I Love long weekends and random thoughts.

So this weekend was exciting.

I played a football tourney. Due to my pride, I will not discuss the results of that day.

2 words - Brock Lesner

When I came out of the fireworks stand Sunday afternoon, I looked like I was going to start a small war. It was grand. I also discovered (by accident) that if you put fireworks into the artillery shell thing upside down, the boom goes outward, and not up.

My dad also discovered this and purposely put them in backwards, because the boom was louder that way.

I think its hilarious when im walking down the hall to deliver a package, and as I pass peoples desks, they all minimize their facebooks and act like they are working. I just want to tell them "Dont worry, its just me and not your boss. You can go back to poking people and playing scrabble".

Because of one of my favorite shows Burn Notice, every time I drive past an abandoned warehouse, I cant help but to think that there are spies, or bad people in there doing bad things.

I know that stuff is goin on in there. They dont make tv shows and movies based on ideas. They come from real live events.

The moral of this story is: I dont know if there is one. Im ready for this weekend though.  

Big Boi (feat. Too $hort & George Clinton) - Fo Yo Sorrows (DEFINATELY MY FAVORITE JAM RIGHT NOW)

Have you ever wondered???

Wouldn't it be bad to find out that you had a kid on facebook? Like if some random girl tagged you on a picture of a baby and was like "Surprise!". I would definitely DISLIKE that picture.

If you play with fire, will you actually pee in the bed? And how fast does this work.
        Ex. - Last night, I could have started a small war with all of the fireworks we had. And there was a lot of fire. I mean a lot. So will I pee in the bed tonight, or does this wait for like 3 years and I'm supposed to remember that I almost burned my face off that night and thats why I just peed in the bed.

Honestly, how do people eat 54 hot dogs in 10 minutes and not puke or die? I just dont get it? Look at this picture to the right. Doesnt the 4-Time Nathans Hot Dog Eating Champion Joey Chestnut look like he is in miserable pain?

After the contest he took a couple shots of Pepto. No lie.

He shines so brightly

This weeks SuperStar is:

JOHN BERNAL a.k.a. Johnny B a.k.a. Johnny Bananas a.k.a. John Beeeeezzzzz Nuts

John Bernal is a man I have known for a good while. We actually used to hustle people in poker games together, back in high school.

He is currently living in North Carolina, due to his military status.

I have no idea which branch of the military he's in, but I know he gets to do cool spy stuff like Michael Weston off of Burn Notice. And that reason alone makes John Bernal one of the dreamiest guys I have ever met.

He once told me that when he was on a mission he __________ ___________ a ___________ _________ on top of a ____________ and then ___________ _____ with ___________ and could barely _____________.

I mean, who can honestly top that story?


Thank you John, for your service, and for your dreaminess.





*Due to the top secretness of the information provided, some content may have been censored in order to protect identities and lives.*

SHAKE WEIGHT DVD

Thanks a lot Jenny

Thanks to my stinkiest friend on the planet who is very rude and mean to me all the time, I couldnt get my mind off of a post she wrote yesterday, about how she was tired of the Billionaire song by Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars.

I, myself, feel this way.

I dont know how I survived 20 years of my life listening to regular radio.

Anywho, I felt like looking up the Top 10 songs on Billboards Hot 100 Chart today. This is how it goes...

1. Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg - California Gurls

I cant even begin to explain how much I hate this song. I heard some interview she did and she said that since New York had an awesome song (Jay-Z and Alicia Keys - Great song, but WAY overplayed) she wanted to do something for her state of California.

Too bad most of the girls in California are actually garden tools and love the smell of white powder on top of a mirror.

Texas needs to make a song with UGK, Jamie Foxx and Beyonce and it should be called "Every other state can suck it"

2. Love the way you Lie - Eminem ft. Rhianna

Not an Em fan. And Rhianna is gettin to weird for me these days.

3. OMG - Usher

This song is annoying. Lol. I saw him perform it live on American Idol and I was like LMFAO, this is horrible. SMH.

4. Airplanes - B.o.B. ft. Hayley Williams

I bought B.o.B's album and it was actually really good. This song is way overplayed as well. But I wont hate on it too much cuz Bobby Raye is doin big things.

5. Billionaire - Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars

Man, I hear this every morning. Every afternoon. Every night. At first, it was cool. Had a very good vibe and I could picture myself jammin to it on a beach with a drink thats made out of a coconut. Now every time I hear it I want to drive my car off of a bridge into a shallow lake.

6. Find Your Love - Drake

I dig it.

7. Cooler than Me - Mike Posner.

Mike Posner, I am way cooler than you, and your stupid song.

8. Your love is my drug - Ke$ha

First off, I feel annoyed with myself just because I actually spelled this girls name with a dollar sign. Second, I hate this song because if i hear it, it gets in my head and I start humming it. So then for the rest of the day, I start thinking of the most violent music with bad lyrics I can imagine, to kill every thought of her song thats in my head. Youre annoying.

9. Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Who is Alejandro? I dont know, and I dont care.

10. Ridin Solo - Jason DeRulo

Never heard the song. If I did, I probably didnt know what I was listening to, and wisely changed the channel.

The moral of my rant: I'm so glad I have Sirius Satellite Radio (Foxxhole Radio, Hip Hop Nation, Shade 45, The Heat, Heart and Soul and Backspin). And im also glad I have a friend who acquires new music on a daily basis.